Who is fielding mellish

Norma : Some old friends are coming over. We're gonna show some pornographic movies. Fielding Mellish : You need an usher? Norma : Oh, you're cute. I'm busy. Fielding Mellish : I was a nervous child - I was a bed wetter. When I was younger, I, uh, I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself Fielding Mellish : Jesus, life is so cruel! Fielding Mellish : See what I mean? Esposito : You have a chance to die for freedom.

Fielding Mellish : Yes, well, freedom is wonderful. On the other hand, if you're dead, it's a tremendous drawback to your sex life. Nancy : Can Fielding Mellish : What do you I love you! I want you in a way of cherishing your Nancy : Do you have any gum? Fielding Mellish : What the hell is this stuff anyhow? Rebel Soldier : Leezard. Fielding Mellish : Nancy Fielding Mellish : I mean, if you're gonna fool around with women's lib, you're gonna need somebody to support you.

Fielding Mellish : Just put 'em in a bag, will you? Magazine Store Clerk : What? Magazine Store Cashier : "Orgasm"! This man wants to buy a copy. How much is it? Nancy : I want to go and work with pygmies in Africa I don't think that you Fielding Mellish : I'm willing to No, that's perfectly OK. I love leprosy! If that's what you're asking me I'm perfectly willing to I like leprosy, I like cholera. I like all the major skin diseases. Nancy : Have you ever read the "I Ching"? Fielding Mellish : Not the actual Ching, itself.

But, I've - I have dabbled in Kierkegaard. Nancy : Oh, well, of course, he's Danish. Fielding Mellish : Yes. He'd be the first to admit that. Fielding Mellish : You cannot bash in the head of an American citizen without written permission from the State Department. Esposito : After we win the revolution, we are free. Fielding Mellish : And when is the revolution? Esposito : Six months. Fielding Mellish : Six months? I got a rented car!

Nancy : May I ask Fielding Mellish : I'm a products tester for a large corporation. I make sure products are safe and practical. Today I tested an exercise machine, and an electrically warm toilet seat for cold days.

Fielding Mellish : I had a good relationship with my parents. They very rarely h I think they hit me once, actually, in my whole childhood.

They, they, uh, started beating me on the 23rd of December in , and stopped beating me in the late Spring of ' Nancy : I have to tell you something, and I don't know how to break it. Oh, Fielding Fielding Mellish : Why? Is something the matter? Have you seen X-rays of me? Fielding Mellish : [nervously speaking at a fundraiser dinner, while posing as the San Marcos president] Although the United States is a very rich country, and San Marcos is a very poor one, there are a great many things we have to offer your country in return for aid.

For instance, there We have more locusts. There are locusts of all races and creeds. These, these locusts, incidentally, are available at popular prices. And so, by the way, are most of the women of San Marcos. Now then, despite the tiny size of our nation, few people realize that we lead the world in hernias. They also fail to realize that before Columbus discovered your country, he Fielding Mellish : I'm so depressed I'd kill myself if I thought that she would marry me!

The interpreter : [in English] I am Mr. Hernandez, the official interpreter! Senator : Welcome to the United States. Fielding Mellish : [in English] Thank you! The interpreter : [to the Senator] "Thank you! Senator : Did you have a good flight? The interpreter : [in English to Fielding] "Did you have a good flight? Fielding Mellish : [in English] Yes, I did!

The interpreter : [in English to the Senator] "Yes, I did! Senator : Well, we hope your stay in our country The interpreter : [English, to Fielding] "We hope your stay in our country Senator The interpreter : [in English] " Fielding Mellish : [in English] I am looking forward to it The interpreter : [to the Senator] "I am looking forward to it Fielding Mellish : Ah, with great anticipation!

The interpreter : [to the Senator] "With great anticipation! The interpreter : [Two men in orderly uniforms and butterfly nets appear and attempt to drag the interpreter away].

Fielding Mellish : Is it possible to discuss that over dinner tomorrow night? It doesn't have to be tomorrow night, of course. I mean, I'm wide open for the next six years. Nancy : Listen, why don't you take my phone number.

And call me on Saturday. Call me on Saturday. Nancy : It's those two pieces - right there. Fielding Mellish : See you later. Nancy : I may be bombing an office building, but, I'll find out. Fielding Mellish : Fellas, I don't wanna be President. You're making a big mistake.

You gotta be smart to be a President. Let me be Vice President. That's - that's a real idiot's job. Fielding Mellish : The Americans won't recognize us; because, they think we're Communists. The Communists won't recognize us; because, they think we're American puppets. The one person in the world who would recognize us was arrested yesterday on a morals charge. Prosecutor : Your witness.

Fielding Mellish : Officer Dowd, have you ever had sexual relations with a girl with really big breasts? Policeman : Yes, sir. I did. Fielding Mellish : Hmm-hmm. And how did you find it? Policeman : Very - erotic.

Fielding Mellish : I was just checking. Howard Cosell : They approach one another cautiously. Nothing unique about that. Now, Mellish begins to make his moves - and so does Nancy. The two are working together, closely.

The action growing more rigorous. It is swift, rhythmic, coordinated - what's that? A cut over Mellish's right eye. The doctor comes into examine the cut. No, it will not be stopped. It continues. I tell you, ladies and gentlemen, although you can see for yourselves, I have never seen action like this.

That's it. It's over. It's all over! The marriage has been consummated! Nancy and Fielding Mellish, in their most real since, are now man and wife. And, if humanly possible, I'm gonna break through these fans to talk to the two. Excuse me. Nancy, I know that this is very personal, but, was it - everything you expected? Nancy : Well, Howard, it all went by so fast. I just had no idea that it would be so quick. I was expecting a longer bout. Howard Cosell : No difficulties of any kind? Nancy : Well, as you - as you know I'm extraordinarily ticklish.

So, I had a kind of a little rough time there. I couldn't stop laughing and I - you know - I thought it'd get in my way; but, I really trained well for this and I think it sort of helped. So, there really wasn't any time that I didn't feel in complete control, you know. Howard Cosell : How about you Fielding? I was concerned about that cut. I thought they might stop the action. Did you have that feeling? Fielding Mellish : Yes, I was, Howard. I thought that - that I'd have to finish it up quickly; because, I thought the referee might come in and stop it.

I knew I was leading at that point. And I was just hoping they'd let me go all the way. And I did. Howard Cosell : No disappointments at all? Nancy : Well, I had heard that he'd be in great, great shape. And I felt that he wasn't. That he could use a little seasoning and, you know, sort of, timing - the timing was a little off. I move for a mistrial, do you realize there is not a single homosexual on that jury. A: He's got a record, he was always being picked up at one demonstration or another.

He's a bad apple, a commie. A New York, Jewish, intellectual communist crack pot. I mean, I don't want to cast no aspersions. Q: Mr. Hoover, in your opinion, is Fielding Mellish a threat to the security of the United States? Spectator: Alright, I did it, I'm guilty. But I couldn't take it any more, she kept tormenting me, egging me on, making a fool of me. Isn't this Epsteen vs.

I'm sorry. A: I'm sorry to disappoint you but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he is a warm, wonderful human being.